the third and latest blog from an opiniated, crazed, music-lover girl who drinks too much frappucino

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Void
 Posted by: ndin | 08/14 2006, 06:34

adj.
  1. Containing no matter; empty.
  2. Not occupied; unfilled.
  3. Completely lacking; devoid: void of understanding.
  4. Ineffective; useless.
  5. Having no legal force or validity; null: a contract rendered void.
  6. Games. Lacking cards of a particular suit in a dealt hand.
n.
    1. An empty space.
    2. A vacuum.
  2. An open space or a break in continuity; a gap.
  3. A feeling or state of emptiness, loneliness, or loss.
  4. Games. Absence of cards of a particular suit in a dealt hand: a void in hearts.
Hope is definitely deadly. In its presence, a mere mortal can bring down a mountain. In its absence, however, it can kill its own host. Cell to cell, will to will.

Dealing with boredom is an art. There would always be something to do until the next train arrives. But what if we do not know when the train is going to come, or whether it would come at all... or if it's going to be a train at all?

Choices may present a degree of uncertainty. Choices in actions are relatively easy to determine, once a goal is established. Now, establishing a goal is a completely another matter. In its own it involves choices, thus the recursing reality spirals down. One can't have it all, it's true. Nevertheless, one must strive to have the most. Greed prevails, right?

I've never found fate. It has always been the one that finds me. Although this has its advantages, I can't help feeling I'm not the one holding the steering wheel of my own life. Sure, some of my decisions may caused a major impact on how thing turned out but in times when the driver says "just cool down, it would come along in a while" like now, the lack of foresight is just killing me. It's not the suspense, but rather the sense of being lost that really sucks.

Someone I met recently gave a new perspective in this situation that was quite a distant thought from me before. Some major decisions we try to make may not be that big of impact after all. No path is the only unalterable path. Changes happen and experience adds to our value along the way. This could work. May not be easy for some conventional soul desperately trying out a little dynamic life like me, though.

So what am I going to do in my life?
Frankly my dear, I can't answer that now. You just have to watch and see.. provided anyone could survive this void Wink

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